Our journey with our 10 year old – Holly’s Story APD
Holly’s story, coping with and learning about this disorder
As many parents with APD children know, they are prone to melt downs, and Holly is not exception. She can be happy go lucky one minute then extremely frustrated the next.
I’ve often tried to put myself in her shoes, not being able to comprehend, or understand what has been said to her, unable to keep up with peers in and out of the class room, and the big thing – not remembering what she was taught yesterday.
How could I possibly understand all that – no wonder she has melt downs.
I cant fix her APD, but i can learn about it, I cant fix her memory but i can work with her to try and re-cap some of what she has lost. I cant fix this, but I have so many new friends to talk things over and help me help her, thanks to the wonderful facebook support groups.
I can’t fix the mean kids at school who call her dumb, but i can instill a sense of pride and belief in herself that will help to wash off some of the comments she receives.
(every morning as we pull into the school gate I remind her that she is smart, that she is a nice girl, that she is a lovely person)
I cant fix her APD but i can work on my reaction to it (I know Im human, but reality is she has so few on her team, that when I cant understand her – that must make her feel like she has no one on her side) sometimes taking a break, walking away or saying ill look at it again tomorrow is the only answer and this is in relation to homework in particular, our children overload so quickly that to pile this on them at home is unfair and unrealistic.
Quiet places that the children feel peace are also a good idea, bedrooms, gardens ext, somewhere they can go or something they can do to relieve some of the stress. Holly likes to watch movies, it calms her down and in my book “what ever works” reward systems also can help with homework and meltdowns. But reality is, our children will overload, stress, be anxious and angry -and who can blame them.
Melt downs are a part of APD we can only ride the wave with our children and hope we both make it to shore with minimal damage.
Mother of Holly 12 with APD